I'm really sorry - I have nothing for this post this week. School is out, but it's still at the front of my focus. We're on our way home now, by way of Ashland, San Jose, Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon. If I'm lucky, I'll get to run on the Rim Trail. If not, I'll pick it all back up when we get back to Taos. For now, I'm just too distracted to even think about the race. I have time though. Plenty of time. I'll check in again next week...
Last week I ran my butt off. I was strong and determined. I was excited and proud to share my life and running successes with the people I cared about. My mom was in town and I was on top of the world. On Wednesday there was a huge personal jolt in my life.... CRASH.
Shit happens, people make new decisions, stuff changes and people like me don't deal with that very well. When all I could feel was my world crashing around me I sought comfort in the family I was lucky to have around and the friends I am so fortunate to have. The one thing that I thought I would immediately walk away from was the one thing that ended up being the easiest to do, running.
A friend tweeted me a couple days ago, "Keep your head up. Not worth your tears. "Run it off or drink it off." She was right, and even though I did cry, I also did run, and every time I did I felt 1000 times better. And I won’t lie, the adult beverages helped as well.
I am not saying I feel happy all the time, I am still hurt, but I am surprised at my strength to keep going with this. I am the type of person to shut down and turn off. I have proven to myself through this that I haven't just been talking about running a half marathon. I have made this commitment; I have made this my priority. I am not going to let myself or my mom down because something made me sad, and that may be the best feeling I could have.
We all have our own shit and we choose to deal with it in different ways. Running and writing are helping me deal with this and no one can fault me for that. Last Saturday I killed a five mile run without the motivation from another and it felt good to still be just as strong standing alone. One day at a time I am getting through the hard stuff and along the way I am enjoying the fun stuff.