Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm Not Oprah

Did you watch Oprah's very last ever Favorite Things show the other day? I did. I watched both of them, Friday and Monday. Like so many people, I've dreamed of being on that show for years. And as those last two gifting frenzies rolled before my eyes, I was a little bit sad that my chance to be there was really, officially over. Not that I ever thought I'd actually get there, but knowing there was still the teensiest possibility was fun.

To be honest, I really only coveted a few of the things those people were given. The iPad would be wonderful, and the sparkly Uggs, in black, of course. The clothes didn't really suit me, and the panini maker would take up too much counter space, especially in the trailer. I already have a very nice frying pan, thanks. Some of the other stuff, like the huge TV and the Le Creuset cookware could be stashed away for when we live in a house again. And the diamond earrings... not my style at all, but I bet I'd wear them once or twice before selling them.

Only one thing caught me off guard, and it was a big one. The car. The brand new, so new it's still top secret, 2012 VW Beetle. All the lead up told me they were getting cars. I knew it before they did. But when it actually happened, I was washed over with a crazy wave of emotion, and I cried like a baby, right along with those people on the show. I felt like I had actually won a car, even though Rational Mind was yelling at me to shut up and get real. What can I say? It's embarrassing, but I felt it, and I allowed myself to feel it for a few minutes because it was fun.

I've given up a lot of stuff to make this "travel time" possible. As winter closes in, and it remains illogical to move back into our house, I'm finding myself missing some of the comforts a slightly bigger life would hold. Like a couch in the living room, and a bed for my daughter to sleep in when she visits in January, and maybe a different room to go in and close the door and just be by myself, and the hot tub... I really miss the hot tub. I also miss having a car of my own. We traded in two smaller vehicles to buy the big diesel truck that pulls our trailer. It's a wonderful truck, and it does its job well, but it's our only vehicle, and it's really hard for me to drive. The result is, Rick and I go everywhere together, and he always drives. Sure, I could take the truck and go into town, but parking is a problem, and I'm not confident driving that thing. It's huge and scary, and I just don't like it.

I've been yearning, in a silly dreamy schoolgirl way, for a cute little car of my own. From one extreme to the other, I was looking at Hello Kitty Smart Cars online the other day.


It's not at all practical for Taos, but Selfish Me, who I'm not very proud of, says, Well, at least it would be mine, all mine. True. I doubt Rick would want to drive it to the hardware store, although I'd sure take pictures if he did.

Anyway, my reaction to that car giveaway really surprised me. I don't need a car. I just want one. I don't need to live in a house again, but I want that too. We've been looking for Home for about a year and a half now, and I'm tired and ready to be there. I want to know where I live. I want to round up the pieces of my life and put them back together again. I don't want a lot, but I want to be Home.

Oprah said something at the end of that show that really gave me hope, not for anything specifically, but for the possibility of everything. She said something like, It's not about the stuff, although stuff is fun. It's about knowing that something wonderful can happen to us at any time, when we least expect it. I like that, and I'm holding onto it. When the time is right, Something Wonderful will find me. Until then, everything I have is already pretty wonderful. I just have to remember to see it that way.

Oprah inspired me to do the Gratitude Bracelet Giveaway. I'd been thinking about it for a while, but what she said at the end of the show cinched it for me. I'm not Oprah, but I do have the ability to offer some fun and hope and possibility in my own small way. All of us do. I can see how she must really enjoy doing that show on such an enormous scale. I'll bet it's as much fun for her as it is for the people who get all that stuff. I've always said my favorite thing to do with beads is to give them away. Ask Rick. He'll tell you. And I'm enjoying this bracelet giveaway so much, I think I'll do a new one every week from now until Christmas. I'd give you all bracelets if I could, but maybe it's just as good to share the message of Something Wonderful Can Happen... at any time.

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Comment on this post to be entered in this week's Gratitude Bracelet Giveaway. One comment per post, please!

20 comments:

Penny said...

I've always wanted a bubblegum pink Carmengia. Maybe with a Hello Kitty hood ornament. Just sounds like fun lol.

PA said...

Funny, but sometimes when you think you want something you don't need and then somehow the opportunity to have that something comes you actually reject it, finding that the "wanting" was the fun and the "having" wasn't so important after all. And giving or even seeing someone else give is a truly satisfying experience so your reaction to Oprah was probably pretty much like most of us. Polly Anna

MaggieRae said...

I love Oprah, I agree that giving, even watching it, is a powerful inspiration and motivator.

When I dream of hitting the lottery, the scenes that run through my mind are mostly about the fun of giving it away and touching other people's lives in a positive way.

Raella

Moonmom said...

I love to give away jewelry that I make, too. Mostly to totally unsuspecting folks who have just said, "Oh, I love that necklace/bracelet/earrings you're wearing." Like the girl who checked my groceries on Valentine's Day. I was wearing a simple lampworked heart pendant on a ribbon. She saw it and commented on it. I took it off and gave it to her. She was overwhelmed, saying that no one had ever given her anything so nice before. What a great feeling: but I was just "paying it forward". I comb thrift stores for jewelry to repurpose. One day I spied a pair of brass earrings and picked them up to purchase. A lady standing there stopped me, saying that she had intended to buy them. "Cool, they're really pretty," I said. Now you could tell that this lady didn't shop in thrift stores because she wanted to, instead, because she had to. She paid for the earrings then turned to me and said, "I want you to have these." Those earrings became a heartsong that I hear whenever I am able to give something away like that. Just paying it forward!

Zoe Nelson said...

Being generous with physical things makes people generous in their spirit. That's why it feels so good to do something for someone else.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, be generous, be conscious, be honest - simple and even easy. A woman in front of me in the grocery line pulled some money out her pocket and dropped a hundred dollar bill. When I alerted her to that, she looked at me in disbelief. Hopefully she has a new view of her neighbor now. If she were more conscious she would not have wadded up bills in her pockets - but that is a subject of another conversation - honoring her own stuff, which is its own form of gratitute. Happy Thanksgiving, Kim and Rick.

wmt1019 said...

I too love to bless others who least suspect it. They are completely overwhelmed and seem to have trouble just accepting the gift. But if they didn't accept....we couldn't be blessed by giving. It works both ways. Be Blessed!!!
Wendy Taylor

Anonymous said...

That was a great Oprah show.....I also got so excited. I love giving my jewelry away. Have a Great Thanksgiving. Suzie

Right Here Right Now said...

I haven't sold any my beads for the last year but my stash is running low because it's so fun to give them away. A few weeks ago, I gave a free lesson to a bead-wannabe and it was so fun to see her get so excited!!!

Thank you Kim for everything you give us everyday with a view of your life. Happy Turkey Day!
Franceenie

Carlene said...

Several times a year, my husbands asks for Holiday specific earrings for the ladies he works with. I have six pairs of Christmas earrings to make and wrap up special for him to deliver soon. It's funny how happy and excited they get. It makes me happy and excited, too.
Random acts of kindness are fun. Thank you for reminding everyone to do it more often :)

Paula said...

You make me so happy....Mudita. Look it up beautiful woman.

Anonymous said...

I think this statement is the epitomy of what I am waiting for too. "It's about knowing that something wonderful can happen to us at any time, when we least expect it." I am making blankets for the soldiers in Iraq and Afghan. I will never know who gets them but only hope that it wraps them with warmth and the thought there is someone back home thinking about them. When I mail the packages it gives me a sense of happiness and hope that I have brightened the day for someone, somewhere ! April N

Anonymous said...

Kim, I can relate to your need for 'home' I live in a place I hate with a husband I love.
Because of his health we can't return to the place I love and want to live. My kids and grandchildren are there and I am stuck. We also only have 1 car,so I can relate to that too. I am now visiting with my 89 year old parents who are in good health and the kids and babies-----I have MUCH to be greatful for......sara

Sue said...

Yes, something wonderful can happen at anytime. Today we drove through the snow covered pass to the beach and it was a beautiful sight. Hope your search for home ends soon. My three years of transition are coming to a close and it makes me feel happy.

Carolina Elizabeth said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Kim. Thank you for sharing your life and art with us.

M said...

Happy Thanksgiving. May you be blessed with much to be grateful for!

Melissa macr

m.e. said...

The holidays are for many a Big tribute to extraneous Stuff! The more the better.If it's stuff we can't really afford..woo hoo... that's extra special !!!
Everybody seems to complain.But,they don't seem to stop buying gifts from the mass produced ,overpriced present pool.
I applaud you Kim for "un-stuffing "your life!
I try to do so,but there are some exceptions to what I am willing to part with.
My Mom&Grand-mom began the family tradition of collecting tree ornaments.Technically they are"stuff"!
But,each one is holds a memory . Many are mementos of special occasions and trips.The most treasured ones are, those made by tiny hands now all grown up and those created by people now present only in spirit.When each child goes off to have a tree of their own, they take part of the collection dearest to them.Then they add memory ornaments of their own to their collection.As we put each ornament on the tree we take a moment to reflex on the memory it brings to mind. Our family trees may not make the decorating pages ,and they do take a while to decorate.It takes a lot of laughter and some tears before we finish .
But,to my family this time spent in reflection IS the real ,true holiday. A way to count our blessings.A a way to feel at home, no matter where we are. m.e. :)

Nancy said...

Beautiful sentiments from everyone. I am thankful I read the them today.

Renee said...

Hmmm...wonder how "hello Kitty" would look painted on the side of our Prius?!! It already has black and white "Zebra" seat covers!!
Thanks for another thoughtful post.

Elaine said...

I cried too and thought what a fool I must be. It was just so much fun to see others so happy. Happy Thanksgiving. Wishing we were in Taos now.
Elaine Rusk