I have this beautiful wooden box that I've been carrying along with us in the trailer. I decorated it with images of exotic looking gypsy women, and use it to store beads in. During the summer, when I was making a lot of beads, I stashed a few every day, in case I came to a time when I didn't have a studio for a while. And that's exactly where I'm at right now.
Here we are, at a house we don't want to move back into, happily camping in the driveway. The studio space is there, but for some reason I'm hesitant to set it up and start making beads again. I'm not sure if I'm just in a slump, or if I've really hit the bead wall, or if maybe I've actually lost my super powers. The truth is, after almost exactly 14 years of making beads, I don't want to make beads anymore. Huh. I'm not sure what to do with that information.
I sort of figured I'd be a beadmaker till the day I died. But now I'm thinking it might be time for a change. There might be something else out there, or in here, for me. Maybe I have more to offer. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and dig out the torch and glass and get right back to work. I guess I'll know when I know.
Meanwhile, I have a bunch of stuff in the Bead Chest that needs to find homes, so little by little, I'm posting them in my BeadShop. We can use the money, and I really need to clear the physical space in order to clear the mental space and make room for whatever wants to come through next. It might be beads. It might not. One thing I've learned, that seems consistently true for me, is when it's time for Something New, I never get a clue as to what that's going to be until I completely let go of Something Old. That's scary. Part of me wants to take yet another great big leap of faith, and trust that the net will be there. It's always been there before. The other part is a practical, chicken hearted girl, with her nose to the grindstone, making a living, making a living, making a living.
I could let all this freak me out, or I could be happily curious to see how it goes. We always have choices, and from day to day, the choices change like a revolving restaurant menu. Today's Special is... well, I can't wait to find out.