One of my favorite things about camping - or not camping, as we're doing - is the lack of mirrors and good light. I can go for days without taking a close look at myself, and the older I get, the better that suits me. Out here I rarely wear makeup, my wild hair is allowed to roam free, and I sometimes wear the same thing several days in a row. Unheard of, I know! But I also know nobody's looking, so if the clothes don't stink, might as well save on some laundry. I went swimming in my only pair of "shorts" yesterday, which are knee length and not at all cute. They're good for camping though, being a stylish dirt-green shade of dark khaki. I dislike swimsuits to something of an extreme, so decided to go ahead and jump in in my standard uniform of shorts and strappy black camisole. The lake is a bit on the muddy side right now, and today my swimming costume was not suitable for another wearing. I poked through my meager closet this morning, and decided, what-the-heck, go crazy and put on something colorful for a change. I pulled out a never-worn pink dress and black leggings, and pulled it all together with some favorite jewelry. Seeing myself in all that color was sort of shocking. It's not just pink. It's a deep vibrant shade of magenta, and I have no idea why I bought it.
Look at my closet. See how dark it is in there? Most of my clothes are black. It's less confusing to me that way. The Pooh jewelry box was my daughter's when she was little. I took it, intending to decoupage all over it and make it Very Beautiful. Socks and undies are in the little plastic drawer-thingy. Sweaters and scarves are in the baskets on top of the closet. I have more winter clothes stashed under one of the dinette seats, and that's it. Not much of a wardrobe to work with.
I keep opening Rick's closet, which is half the size of mine, and checking my look in the mirror on the inside of the door. I want to like it. I really do. But I feel so weird in something so bright. It makes me want to go jump in the muddy lake and show it who's boss. And the outfit has only gotten better as the day has gone on... After making my rounds around the campground after lunch, I was way overheated from all the hill climbing in the hot sun, so I peeled off the clingy leggings and replaced them with my pink bunnies-and-cake pajama bottoms. They're cute, sort of cropped, with little ruffles at the bottom, like bloomers. Well, I think they're cute. Rick stopped by a few minutes ago to drop off some firewood, and when I stepped outside to say hi, he took one look at my ensemble and said, I guess you won't be going into to town with me, huh?
OK, so maybe my fashion sense has slipped a bit over the years. And a year in a trailer hasn't helped. I've never had to "dress" for work, and I find fashion magazines do nothing more than make me feel ugly and inadequate, so I avoid them. As a result, my clothes are weird. But does it really matter? If I have to, I can clean up and put myself together quite nicely. Thankfully, I don't have to most of the time. These days, I think the way I see the world is much more important that how I look to it.
So maybe a loony outfit escapes the closet now and then. So what? Now that I'm cooled off and comfortable in my summer dress and pajama pants, my entire outlook has changed. I'm not as shaken by the colorful image I see in that almost full length mirror. So now I think I'll just close the closet door again, and go on ignoring the mirrors. There's nothing stuck in my teeth, my hair is as good as it ever gets, my odd clothes are clean... I think I'll go into town with Rick.