I guess all those plans that were so up I the air yesterday have sorted themselves out to a certain degree. Thanks, God... We will have to go back to Taos in September, get the house back in order, and decide whether we want to rent it to someone else, try to sell it, or surrender to living in it again for a while. I really don't want to do that. One thing a year in a trailer has confirmed for us is that we love the way we're living now, and going back to a big house in a town we don't love sounds like such a terrible defeat. Might as well clap a rusty old ball n' chain to my ankle and send me out to move rocks.
Talking to my friend Sally the other day, we came up with a good analogy for what's happening to so many of us right now. It's like working a giant 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, but all the pieces aren't even facing up yet. So many variables. So many unknowns. I've spent today in sort of an emotional rolodex, spinning from worried to curious to freaked out to happy to annoyed to resigned. At the moment, I'm just throwing my hands in the air in surrender. There's nothing I can do but wait for the rest of the puzzle pieces to be turned over. I can turn some of them, but a lot of this is out of my control.
Since we don't need to go until sometime in September, there's time to gather information, process emotions, and make decisions - for what those are worth. They say Taos Mountain either loves you or kicks you out. I guess it wants us back for some reason. I just hope it's only a small favor that needs to be done, and not some sort of big messy job, so we can get back in our trailer and go to the beach.
Photo shamelessly, but gratefully lifted from: http://doniganmerritt.wordpress.com/